"The Day I Stopped Being Jealous of My Friend and Started Learning From Her" | AS Your Voice |

The Day I Stopped Being Jealous of My Friend and Started Learning From Her" | AS Your Voice |

1. Cultivate Active and Empathetic Listening (Beyond Just Hearing): Practice the Pause: Before responding, take a conscious breath. This creates a tiny space for you to shift from reacting to understanding. Seek the "Why": Ask clarifying questions to understand the speaker's motivation, context, and existing knowledge. Instead of "What happened?" try "What's on your mind about this?" or "How are you feeling about it?" Observe Non-Verbals: Pay attention to body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. These often reveal more than words alone. Reflect Back: Briefly summarize what you've heard to ensure you've understood correctly and to show the speaker they've been heard. E.g., "So, if I understand correctly, you're feeling X because of Y?" 2. Master the Art of Emotional Scaffolding and Timing: Acknowledge the Emotion First: When entering a serious or sad situation, validate the existing feelings before attempting to change the mood. Say things like, "I can see this is really tough," or "It sounds like you're going through a lot right now." Create a Safe Space: Offer a listening ear without judgment. "Take your time," or "I'm here to listen if you want to talk." Guide Towards Solutions (if appropriate): Once feelings are acknowledged, gently help people shift their focus from dwelling on the problem to considering potential next steps. "What do you think might help in this situation?" or "What's one small thing you could do?" Strategically Introduce Laughter/Lightness: Once the emotional groundwork is laid and people feel understood and potentially empowered, a well-timed joke or lighthearted comment can be incredibly effective in releasing tension and fostering connection. It shifts from avoiding pain to finding shared resilience. 3. Embrace Self-Reflection as a Tool for Growth, Not Self-Criticism: Shift from Jealousy to Analysis: As you wisely pointed out, when you observe someone doing something well, don't let it trigger envy. Instead, ask: "What are they doing differently?" "What specific steps are they taking?" "How can I adapt that to my own style?" Identify "Errors" as Learning Opportunities: Frame mistakes or shortcomings not as failures, but as valuable data points that inform your path to improvement. "What did I learn from that response?" "How could I have handled that situation more effectively?" Journaling/Thought Experiments: Regularly take time to mentally review interactions or situations. Consider alternative approaches you could have taken. 4. Understand That Success is a Journey, Not a Destination: Reject the Myth of Overnight Transformation: Acknowledge that changing habits and developing new skills takes consistent effort over time. Celebrate small victories. Focus on Process, Not Just Outcome: Instead of fixating on a perfect end result, focus on the daily "labor" – the conscious effort to listen better, time your responses, and reflect on your actions. Be Patient and Kind to Yourself: There will be times you revert to old habits. That's human. Recognize it, learn from it, and gently redirect yourself.

How am I different from my friend?

One day I realized that

First | AS Your Voice |

people

Trust her
respect her
obey her does not matter they are elder than or not
wants to talk her
Listen her

The Question Is Why | AS Your Voice |

She is human, and I am human, so what is different?

The answer

Then I began examining myself and my friend.

such as when she and I are both in the same position, what she will do and what I will do

Then I discovered

When the others said something, I responded straight away.

But she did not know me, and your question is what she does.

she believes that the question why people ask has something to do with what the motivation behind

that question is, how much the people already know, and she silently observes what people's body language.

Immediate Response: "When the others said something, I responded straight away." While this shows enthusiasm and a willingness to help, it can sometimes be perceived as not fully listening or understanding, or even cutting someone off. Focus on the "What" Rather Than the "Why": If you respond immediately without first understanding the motivation or context, your answers, while potentially correct factually, might not address the person's deeper need or emotional state. Potential for Dissatisfaction: As you noted, "maybe she will never satisfied with my answer because I know I can't handle her like my friend." If the person doesn't feel understood, an answer, no matter how good, might not land effectively.

Story

One day we are sitting on the ground and suddenly a girl comes and asks a question sis,

I have a problem actually I. she ask her problem than she hears her silently and

paid o child sit down here and relax your self here is no one who heard you first she heard her quietly and

then relaxed her then said said what you want.

Why do you want when she comprehends her completely, then respond to her questions

The unusual act is the fact that she is, in fact, composed and hears here very attentively and walked away when I analyze this act.

I understand that if I was acting on behalf of her I would straight away respond to her, and perhaps she

would never be satisfied with my reply because I am aware that I cannot manage her like my friend

from here I understand that all the time people does not require answer people require that anyone comprehend them they desire every one hear them without analyzing

Secondly | AS Your Voice |

People give her

attention
prayers
Applauding
many things but still I have not

Now the question is why they are not giving me the attention.

The Answer is

just because of my non-serious nature, not bat but non-serious

Your Approach: Immediate Joking/Lightening the Mood: You jump into humor as a coping mechanism for a sad atmosphere you "cannot digest." Mixed Reception: Some people appreciate it, others don't. This is because humor, especially in serious situations, can be highly subjective. Potential Perception: While your intention is to uplift, some might perceive it as not taking the situation seriously enough, or even as being dismissive of their feelings if they haven't had a chance to process the sadness. It might feel like you're trying to skip the sad part rather than acknowledge it. Your Friend's Approach: Prioritizing Acknowledgment and Validation: Her key move is "brainwashing them," which in this context means acknowledging their feelings and the gravity of their situation. She first helps them understand why they're upset and guides them away from self-pity towards seeking solutions ("this is not the solution, that they are doing wrong to not search for the solution"). Building Consensus/Agreement: She waits until "When the students agreed with her" – meaning they are now in a more receptive and solution-oriented mindset. Then, Strategic Use of Humor: After establishing common ground and shifting the mindset, she introduces humor. This makes the humor feel like a natural progression and a healthy way to cope, rather than an avoidance mechanism. Creating the Environment First: "I found she first made an environment and then started that thing that she want." This is the critical insight! She sets the stage for her desired interaction, ensuring her actions are well-received because the audience is prepared and open to them. Why Her Approach Works So Well: Emotional Intelligence: She reads the room and understands the emotional state of others. She knows that before you can lighten a mood, you often need to first validate the existing mood. Empathy and Relatability: By first addressing their current feelings and guiding them, she shows she understands their struggle. This builds a deeper connection than just trying to cheer them up immediately. Timing is Everything: Her humor isn't seen as "non-serious behavior" because it comes after the seriousness has been acknowledged and a path forward has been established. It feels like a shared moment of relief or bonding, rather than an attempt to override discomfort. Leadership/Guidance: In your example with the students, she actually guides them through their emotional process before shifting to a lighter tone. This makes her actions feel purposeful and helpful. You've really pinpointed that the "non-serious behavior" itself isn't the problem, but its timing and the lack of groundwork laid before it. Your friend is excellent at emotional scaffolding – building a supportive structure before introducing the element she wants to share. This is a powerful lesson in communication: people are often more receptive to your message (whether it's humor or advice) when they feel that their current emotional state has been seen, heard, and acknowledged first.

story

One day, we are sitting at a place where there is a very gloomy environment that I can not stomach,

so I am joking and trying to hide this upset, cheerful environment, but some people enjoy it,

and some do not.

Other hand, I analyze that my friend is doing the same, but everyone was enjoying this.

Due to her fashion, she is doing the same but differently, uniquely,

and at a standard of that people's mind.

such as if the scenario was that some students have attained a low percentage in their exams,

i am kidding, and she is first brainwashing them. then saying this is not the solution,

they are doing something wrong to not look for the solution, they are feeling only,

perhaps you know it

When the students agreed to her, then she began joking, and they were also with them

I saw that she first created an environment and afterwards began that thing which she wanted

Thirdly | AS Your Voice |

People need help; they went to my friend , but they didn't tell me that they needed help.

The Question is Why

I assist them more than her. I take every effort, I do my best, so why
A large ? appear

Then I once more examined her.
I discovered that, unconsciously, I declared that I assisted them.

Story

Someone approached me and informed me that she required my assistance. I

assisted her, and afterward, after sometime, when I met her, I asked her in the midst of the gathering of people Is everything alright

She required my assistance, which was not intended by me, but it occurred.

And I understood this thing when I saw my friend that we are in the park, and a girl approached and said thank you, I do not know how much I need your assistance,

and now what value of your assistance is close to me.

I am puzzled because I really do not understand what the issue was that they were talking.
When I asked the girl what you saying girl then she said,

" Miss, actually, I need some assistance. Last week, I requested her, and she assisted me.

I am really very happy because her assistance resolved my problem.

After some time, she went away. I asked my friend why she didn't inform me.

I felt very sad that my friend did not inform this to me.".

She has told me a very nice thing, that is my best friend, you are my friend, not her
I am still staring at her face, like what she has told me,

that saw might have seen that she does not wish i to share her secret with anyone other than that would be the reason she talked about her problem separately.

Then I understand that when we perform any good action, we have to cover it, and not broadcast it.

In next part I tell big and not bear able realities so be prepared for it
I will tell you more in its 2 part.

Remember | AS Your Voice |

But remember that if I feel jealous with my friend and think why she get this. It may affect her, but I will destroy
But I break down why she is getting this and what was my error.

AS Your Voice

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