The Echoes We Create: A Journey of Self-Reflection | AS Your Voice |
Every individual in this world observes another. It's almost a blame game, isn't it? We're so quick to see what others are doing, what they have done, what they will do.
But why do we rarely pause to ask ourselves: What have I done? What am I doing? Why do I do these things? Why should I?
If someone else has a flaw, it's a flaw, and it might even become a sin for them. But if we have the same flaw, "so what?" we think. "It's not really a flaw, is it? It's perfectly fine."
If someone steals out of compulsion or for any reason, it's considered theft. But if we steal, it's not theft; it's just a "compulsion." Similarly, if someone gossips about us or others, it's wrong.
But if we do it, it's perfectly fine. Why is that?
Let me share a personal incident.
One day, something quite peculiar happened to me, yet it turned into a profound lesson. What transpired was this:
One day, I stumbled upon a very old recording on my phone. Driven by curiosity, I played it. It turned out to be a conversation between my friend and me from when I was in Matric.
The recording was a full two hours long, and surprisingly, only about 15 minutes were spent talking about each other.
Now, the question arises: what filled the rest of that recording?
Let me tell you, my friend and I discussed everyone in the school from teachers, criticizing them for favoritism, to various other staff members.
And not just our class, but the entire school! Can you imagine? We even talked about the sweepers and the headmistress.
In that moment, listening back, I realized how hypocritical I had been. I was becoming one of the very people I so deeply disliked.
How could I? Let me tell you, I vehemently dislike those who criticize others but never look at themselves. I'm sure you, like me, don't appreciate such people.
But if someone starts talking this way to us, why do we join in? Why? Why don't we stop them?
Finally, I got so fed up that I stopped the recording. As I listened, I found it increasingly difficult to look myself in the mirror. That day, I truly understood.
Before then, I had never realized that when we talk to someone, instead of focusing on our own conversation, we often drift into discussing others.
A 10-minute conversation turns into an hour-long session, purely because we're talking about others. Why is that? That day, I literally couldn't look at my reflection.
After that, I decided to analyze myself. To see what I truly did. Just as we might spy on others, I did the same for myself. My sister and I were sitting together.
I turned on my phone's recording and started talking to her. Because I knew the recording was on, I spoke cautiously.
If she started talking about someone, I would change the subject or scold her, telling her not to gossip. She couldn't understand what had come over me, but I didn't tell her.
Later that night, I listened to the recording and reassured myself, "See, there's nothing negative here. No gossip about anyone." I felt happy, but my heart knew I had engineered that outcome myself.
The next day, when I spoke to my friend, I did the same. I turned on the recording, and we talked. She was equally confused by my change in behavior.
And here’s a funny thing: my friend, who previously would comfortably talk to me for an hour, for the first time, ended our call in just 20 minutes! From this,
I realized another truth: if we stop talking about others, we simply won't have time to talk about anyone else!
Gradually, I also noticed that I had more time left over, which I used for many other productive things.
Things started to make more sense to me; I began to understand things more deeply. Seriously, it brought so many benefits. And those who used to gossip about me?
They stopped. Seriously. For those to whom I was once a topic of discussion whether it was what I said about someone, or what I did it all ceased.
They started to respect me. By respect, I mean they wouldn't even let anyone talk negatively about me. They were cautious when talking to me. And all of this happened in just one month!
Now you might ask, "How? What's the formula?"
Here's what it is: Initially, I would turn on the recording, knowing I was being recorded. After some time, about 10 days, I realized that even if I wasn't consciously recording my conversations, the Almighty is always recording everything.
He knows everything. My habit became deeply ingrained. And today, here I am, at an age where people are usually playing, sleeping, crying, eating, or studying, I am writing, conveying my thoughts to you. This is no small feat.
The Mirror Within: Benefits and Drawbacks of Self-Reflection | AS Your Voice |
Embracing the journey of self-reflection, as I did, can profoundly transform your life. Yet, like any powerful tool, it comes with its own set of advantages and challenges.
Benefits of Self-Reflection:
Increased Self-Awareness: You gain a deeper understanding of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, leading to greater clarity about who you are.
Improved Decision-Making: By understanding your own biases and motivations, you can make more informed and thoughtful choices.
Personal Growth and Development: Recognizing your flaws and strengths allows you to intentionally work on becoming a better version of yourself.
Enhanced Relationships: When you understand yourself better, you can communicate more effectively and empathize more genuinely with others, leading to healthier connections
.
Reduced Negative Habits: As I experienced with gossip, self-reflection helps identify and break cycles of behavior that don't serve you.
Greater Authenticity: Living in alignment with your true self brings a sense of peace and integrity.
Drawbacks of Self-Reflection:
Can Be Uncomfortable: Confronting your own imperfections, biases, and mistakes can be painful and challenging.
Risk of Overthinking/Paralysis by Analysis: Excessive self-reflection can lead to getting stuck in your own head, overanalyzing every detail, and failing to take action.
Potential for Self-Criticism: Without a balanced perspective, self-reflection can devolve into harsh self-judgment and negative self-talk.
Time-Consuming: True, meaningful self-reflection requires dedicated time and mental energy.
Emotional Exhaustion: Delving into past experiences and emotions can sometimes be draining.
Conclusion: |AS Your Voice|
My journey taught me that true change begins from within. It’s easy to point fingers, to critique the world around us.
But the real transformation occurs when we turn the gaze inward, when we hold ourselves accountable, and when we choose to actively shape the person we aspire to be.
The whispers of gossip, the judgments of others they fade when we commit to building a stronger, more authentic self.
Call to Action: | AS Your Voice|
I invite you, just for a day, to try an experiment. Observe your conversations. Notice how much time is spent discussing others versus truly connecting.
And then, take a moment of quiet reflection. Ask yourself: "What have I done today that truly reflects the person I want to be?"
The mirror of self-reflection might initially show you an uncomfortable truth, but it also holds the promise of profound liberation and genuine growth. What will you see when you dare to look?
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